This week on “Wait, Is it a romantic date?” we’re accompanied by Autostraddle President and
L Word
specialist
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. That’s right! This episode is focused on lesbian interconnectivity â setting up with pals’ exes, pals setting up with your exes, together with tradition developed by all those things drama.
Appear for your news, remain for mental processing. And before that enjoy a game that examinations Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she normally wouldn’t normally.)
Thank you so much for the nice feedback after all of our premiere! When you yourself haven’t however start thinking about providing us with a rating or examine!
SHOW NOTES
+ 5 years ago Riese come up with an
Old Hollywood information
that is the intersection of all of the my personal passions.
+ Here Is
the article
We reference in which We mention starting up with my roommates.
+ My crush associated with the week Mj Rodriguez revealed a music video for her song
“something you should Say”
!
+ As somebody who has merely viewed a handful of periods of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush with the few days C.C. Babcock ended up being shocking to me if it proved she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina informs me they generally nonetheless tend to be.)
Drew:
I would end up being very good along with it current. I might never add another person without their authorization. Although notion of everytime somebody was like, “concur that you might be connected to me,” I would be like, “Yeah, this is the life I’ve lived. I really don’t care about.” Is the fact that weird? Is that problems?
Christina:
No, since if I wasn’t, i’d feel bad not being. I would end up like, “Wait, I’m not lying?”
Theme song performs
Drew:
Hi, I’m Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I’m Christina.
Drew:
And thank you for visiting
Hold Off, Is This A Date?
Christina:
Hold Off, Is It A Night Out Together?
is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the big concerns. Firstly, is-it a night out together? Just what are times? Who’re times? Will we like times? These represent the types of questions that we address with this right here incredibly pro and lovely podcast.
Drew:
I am Drew Gregory. I am a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
I am Christina Tucker. I’m also a writer at Autostraddle. I’m a loud queer online. I’m improving at describing my self as an author and, notoriously, a lesbian. Which is us. Which is exactly who we are.
Drew:
Yeah. So all of our major topic recently will be the Chart.
Christina:
I just thought it required a sting. I’m not sure. That believed truly dramatic, but i do believe it required it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, kindly, please. Many thanks, thanks. No, no, no. The correct quantity of drama.
Christina:
Thank you.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re referring to lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I really like that phrase given that it seems like you’ll want to resume the lesbians. It may sound just like the internet connection isn’t really working.
Drew:
Yes. It’s very advanced level, really innovative, but additionally ‘s been around since there has been lesbians, In my opinion.
Christina:
Yeah. I think students would say whenever they found initial lesbian fossils, they discovered a data alongside of those created into the sand. And I think that’s just what that film is all about, right? It is more about the information? That movie with Kate Winslet plus the sand fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that is what it’s about.
Drew:
If only
Ammonite
involved cave women. I’d watch that lesbian film.
Christina:
Well, as I have not seen it, I’m going to bravely say that it was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Since it is like there is plenty lesbian duration parts, but we have never eliminated back that far. And I also think it’s time we carry out.
Christina:
Let’s only keep having it furthermore back in its history.
Drew:
Before we obtain to your main subject, you are still observing you. And I also thought that it might be fun playing a game title the place you guys could really familiarize yourself with Christina. So the icebreaker for this few days is actually just a little online game that we name “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
Im, once again, very pressured about this. This could you need to be just how I come in to the online game. This could be my personal online game mindset, a tiny bit high-key, a little stressed. That is ok. We are all understanding.
Drew:
I do believe that is fantastic. I think that will make you more susceptible, possibly.
Christina:
Certainly one of my favorite thoughts.
Drew:
Simply a horror, merely a severe terror. So the way that “Would U-Haul” works is actually I’m going to explain a scenario. Why don’t we refer to it as Christina follower fiction. And I’m going to pause after each and every small section as love, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure that you have never ever resided with somebody, do not want to accept someone. But under these situations, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And I will both state yes or I’ll state, “i am ready.”
Drew:
Unless you â really, we’re going to see right here. But I’m excited. I think i have maybe cracked the rule.
Christina:
You’ve cracked the signal? I am thrilled.
Drew:
Let us find out how long this requires. And when there is a constant would, In my opinion you winnings? I’m not sure how you will find champions right here.
Christina:
I’m not sure that there exists champions for the video game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Really, I don’t know any time you’ll accept that next. So I’m going to get heading.
Christina:
Reasonable sufficient.
Drew:
Okay. Therefore, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You’re at the buddy’s wedding ceremony. Regardless of the large number of romcoms you have soaked up, you probably did perhaps not visit this marriage thinking you’ll fulfill any person because, well, this is not a romcom. This is actually the genuine and typical lifetime of Christina Grace Tucker. You’re taking your own designated seat consequently they are glancing at your phone as soon as you realize a lady at your dining table is looking at you. She presents herself as the pal’s previous baby-sitter. She’s remained a friend of this household, but she doesn’t truly know any individual there. She looks like mid-forties and also a striking angular face. You start chatting. She proposes to produce a drink. When she stacks up, you recognize she’s six foot large, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. So you know what? I am only planning to stop there and be want, at this stage, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I am captivated. I’m intrigued because i may get set during this wedding ceremony. But up until now I’m not U-Hauling anyplace.
Drew:
Cool. Which is entirely fair. Completely fair. Okay. And that means you spend entire wedding ceremony learning one another. Absolutely simply an instantaneous spark and quick chemistry. And indeed, you will do hook up together with sex is amazing.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And therefore this wedding ceremony was in Northern Ca. And that means you both expand your remains for three days to screw and explore and eat at restaurants and bang. And also you offer to split the expense of the now combined room, but she laughs you down and is like, “clearly perhaps not, honey.” Therefore the subsequent three days tend to be miraculous. You think your walls tumbling all the way down. You are dropping quicker than you actually ever have. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Thus simply for quality’s sake, i am having trouble imagining a global wherein I took three shock days from work to spend time with someone I do not understand. That seems bonkers. However, if used to do, advantageous to me personally. But I’m not really U-Hauling at this time. It’s going to be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. Which is okay. You simply found. I have it. I get it. Okay.
Christina:
Thank you so much much.
Drew:
So she returns to ny and you also come back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
This is where I stay.
Drew:
And you’re texting always. That’s where you are living and it is in which this girl life. And you are texting constantly therefore see one another several times four weeks. She’s really active along with her work, but she actually is rapid buying you a train pass so you’re able to come see the lady and remain at the woman stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. Then half a year go. And one evening if you are out to meal, she requires one to relocate together. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And proceed to Nyc? I really don’t love ny. No, I’m not relocating on half a year tag. I’m not performing that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Totally, totally, totally. Wow. Okay. So that you keep dating cross country. She realizes that needed some time this woman is ready to wait for you. Some more months move. It’s today already been over per year. Your property manager tells you that they are offering your home to a developer who’s installing condos, so you cannot restore it. You’ll want to discover a unique spot. The today gf lets you know that no stress, but her present however stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. Now, i might U-Haul for 2 factors.
Drew:
Yay! Okay. Kindly reveal.
Christina:
Mainly, in a world in which my landlord sold my house to improve it, my property owner happens to be my closest friend, to ensure that may seem like anything has gone wrong within our relationship. And I might want to merely keep Philadelphia anyway. And if I get to go in with my girlfriend over right here, that appears fine. That’s okay. Totally good. But yeah, In my opinion i may need an external force like a mean property owner.
Drew:
That is so â ok. Used to do genuinely believe that you’ll want to need housing to get here, so I’m glad We understood that.
Christina:
Yeah. That is what has to eventually me personally first.
Drew:
Really, i am happy to understand what it takes. So in theory, if you weren’t kicked away, how much additional time?
Christina:
Frankly, that may went on for a long period. Philly and New York aren’t also that far from each other. I got room over right here. We’re jumping back and forth. We’re having memories. I possibly could have try to let that roll for some time until I guess Shoshana becomes the worst person i am aware.
Drew:
I did not know Shoshana owned your own home. Well, there you decide to go.
Christina:
There we go. Wow, that has been thrilling.
Drew:
Well, thanks for playing.
Christina:
I am pressured, are obvious.
Drew:
And that I’m happy that I’m sure⦠Maybe if you’re ever before, therefore if anybody’s ever matchmaking you and wishes you to move in, maybe your own girlfriend informed Shoshana to sell your house with regard to your connection.
Christina:
Truthfully the fastest means â some body would have to communicate with Shoshana and stay like, “merely kick the lady away.” Following she’d end up like, “Yeah, positive. However.” That would be how it happened, regardless of if she failed to sell our home. Someone would you need to be like, “is it possible to simply kick her out therefore she’ll simply get over it and relocate beside me?” And she’d say yes. Double she would do this. That’s what friendship is actually.
Drew:
I love that.
Christina:
Yeah, that is really beautiful.
Drew:
Well, personally i think like we learned a large amount in regards to you.
Christina:
Thanks A Lot. I believe like I discovered a large number about me, as well. Danger of homelessness is truly the thing that helps to keep myself relocating any scenario, i suppose. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that is great.
Christina:
Which was actually fascinating. I’m just as thrilled to maneuver into our major part because I think speaing frankly about lesbian connection because of this guest, with this unique guest, I think it will likely be remarkable, Drew. Exactly how could you be feeling?
Drew:
I’m thus thrilled. This can be a specialized. And also by that, i am talking about an
L Word
specialist, but some specialized during the subject accessible.
Christina:
I do believe a few things may be genuine, my friend. I do believe a few things may be correct certainly. Will we need present all of our visitor or will we desire the visitor to introduce themselves?
Drew:
I might love our very own guest to introduce herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I shall declare that the guest is the one and only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, talk.
Riese:
Hi, I Am Riese. As well as being unusual to be the visitor!
Christina:
Yeah, truly.
Riese:
I experienced not to say any such thing. I did not even do so. I did say situations. I’d to sit down here silently.
Christina:
While happened to be really courageous. Plus confronts happened to be appreciated.
Riese:
Thank you much.
Christina:
Though this really is certainly an audio method, i’d like all of our listeners to understand that Riese was actually producing some good reaction confronts during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
There is various ways to be heard. You-know-what after all? That’s what I always state. Im the President of Autostraddle.com. And I also’m in addition on an undefeated kickball team. And that is me personally. We have a puppy known as Carol. And that I have dated folks.
Christina:
Congrats in the kickball!
Riese:
Thank you. I have been involved in individuals.
Christina:
Great. Enjoying that. That is fantastic to create to this, this right here dating podcast. That’s great.
Riese:
Yeah. In my opinion that⦠Could There Be whatever else?
Drew:
No, i believe that’s great, Riese.
Christina:
What you may want to share.
Riese:
I enjoy raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.
Christina:
In Contrast toâ¦
Riese:
You know when someone goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It’s like as soon as you blow. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those are gross, and so I simply just evacuated them from my head.
Riese:
Yeah. And that’s all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Really, we instantly looked at you because of this subject.
Christina:
That’s true.
Drew:
Because first and foremost, demonstrably, queer women and non-binary people in lesbian neighborhood have already been like, I don’t know, having sexual intercourse with people who people they know have acquired gender with since a long time before
The L Keyword
ended up being actually ever a string. But i actually do feel like
The L Word
solidified a particular cultural thought of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. I really felt like you’ll have many insight into this topic.
Riese:
It’s true. A couple of article authors, I want to say, of
The L Term
had this genuine data ones and their friends they certainly were drawing about wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, In my opinion, had been one of them. She talked to us about this, which they had constructed this. Because obviously, everyone where author’s room had banged people in publisher â you know, as well as the prolonged internet of that generation of lesbians in la. And in addition they watched can they certainly were like, “Why don’t we place it inside tv series.” And some of those take the data. Like, one particular which ⦠like, genuine people are throughout the information as a tale.
Christina:
Which is wonderful. That’s the manner in which you understand you’ve made it.
Riese:
Is not that adorable?
Christina:
That might be fascinating for me personally.
Riese:
And for those who haven’t seen
The L Word,
first, congrats. Secondly, it becomes the centerpiece of just one of one’s lead figure, Alice’s, apartment. She’s all of it over her wall surface. Plus it may be the name of an internet site . that they started known as ourchart.com that flopped. While the concept ⦠And it’s within the pilot, i do believe. In 1st episode, Alice begins speaking about exactly how everybody’s linked, because every person’s connected using this individual. And that I can link you, like you’re probably a maximum of two degrees from the me personally. Which was actually correct. Like, even with Dana, that has very restricted knowledge because she was actually a closeted golf player, they still had the ability to link the lady. And that’s real life because it’s genuine.
Christina:
That is culture. Yeah. That is what tradition looks like.
Riese:
Which is tradition. That is queer society there. And today everyone makes their very own charts.
Christina:
Yeah. So would definitely be my then question, ended up being have either people made a chart? Because Really don’t think We have, and I am method of today thinking like, that which was this this past year seated at my house for if I failed to generate a chart? Like, that was the purpose of that, really?
Riese:
In my opinion i have done it within my journal, just as like ⦠Because I like, I’m not sure, planning information, i assume, as a thought physical exercise.
Christina:
Yeah, i believe that is additionally precisely why I am surprised that i’ven’t done it. I really like the concept of categorizing circumstances.
Riese:
Correct. Yeah. Because it is fascinating. I’m not sure the reason why its so fascinating, however it is. It really is fascinating become like, wow, a few of these folks, they truly are linked. It’s crazy.
Drew:
Throughout the tv series, once ourchart.com is devised, obtained a real data that people can truly add material. And I feel like something you joked in regards to on
To L and Back,
and today folks state on a regular basis is much like, when this existed in a proper means, no body would put their own brands on it, not one person would feel safe placing their brands about it.
Riese:
You might.
Drew:
I might. I might end up being extremely good with it present. I would personally never add someone else without their own permission. But the thought of similar, anytime someone had been like, “Confirm that you’re connected with myself,” I would wind up as, “Yeah, it’s the life I’ve lived. I really don’t mind.” Is that weird? Would be that difficulty?
Christina:
No, because if I becamen’t, i’d feel terrible not ⦠i might resemble, “Wait, I am not on it? Like, I’m sorry, what?” No, that would actually deliver me into a light ethical anxiety about just who I am as someone, the things I’m doing. Was we interesting? Carry out individuals {like
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